Wednesday, April 16, 2014

N is for Nuptials

Nuptials (noun, plural)  a marriage ceremony; wedding 

In approximately one month I will be celebrating the nuptials of my third and youngest child.  Having gone through this process of being the mother of the bride/groom three times now,  I am definitely more at ease this time around.  Like having and raising children -- sometimes you relax a bit more the longer you've been doing it.  

With each child you have, it seems to get easier to parent.  Or maybe you just don't care aren't  as uptight the longer you parent.   I have found that with my children's nuptials, it was the same way.  I went from highest level of stress to being very at ease with each subsequent wedding. 

I'm over simplifying the analogy, I know.  Each child has their own preferences & personality and each child along with their intended made most of the decisions for the nuptials.  

The Wedding day is a special day that is all about the Parents  Bride and Groom.  But we know that the real deal happens after the day is over and the marriage begins to be negotiated lived out.  Regardless of what type of nuptials, my hope for my children is that in their marriages they always experience love, grace, and joy. 

Wedding One: 
Being the oldest and first to marry, Child One had to endure her mother and father's desires for a very traditional Greek wedding with almost no expense spared.  This fit her well, as she loves to party, spend our money, enjoy the finer things.   The ceremony was in high church and lasted about 40 minutes with several significant parts. The priest officiated.  There were over 500 guests- mostly friends of the parents, and  it was followed by a sit down dinner reception that lasted until the wee hours of the morning.  There was lots of food, alcohol (including ouzo, mixed drinks, and beer) dancing, and even some plate-smashing.  
Stress-level rating on a scale of 1-5:  5 

Wedding Two: 
A few years later Child Two decided it was time to marry her beloved.  She did not want the same type of nuptials that her sister had.  She is not as extravagant as her sister and instead wanted something simple. There were no objections as the expense stress of Child One's nuptials were still hurting remembered. This wedding was held in the groom's church with the minister officiating. It was a lovely church.  About half of the 200 guests were friends of the bride and groom, and the remaining guests were extended family and some good friends from each parental side.  The reception was within an hour of the 20 minute ceremony at a local hotel's ballroom.  There was a buffet followed by some dancing.  A few hours later, the bride and groom left and we kicked out everyone else the reception was over.    
Stress-level rating on a scale of 1-5:  3

Wedding Three:
A couple years have passed by and finally now it is time for Child Three to make the plunge into marriage-hood. This wedding is being planned and financed mostly by the groom and bride themselves by their choice.  They don't want to have to listen to anyone want it done their way.  They think it is stupid to spend too much also prefer to spend less money on the nuptials.  They first considered eloping, then a destination wedding with just the two of them.  After pleading and crying I am thankful their final decision is to have a ceremony that is close by with just a few people.  The final details will have them marrying casually in a local park being officiated (legally, I made sure) by a childhood friend of my son.  Dressing up is optional  is casual - sundresses, capri's, shorts even.  The guest list is less than 100 which  includes the immediate families, a few extended family members, and a few good friends of the couple.  Following the short ceremony will be a BBQ reception in the park.   The menu includes hamburgers, steak, and plenty of beer to drink.  In case of rain, there is a contingency plan with a friend's nearby restaurant.  A few weeks after the nuptials, the bride and groom will fly to an island in the Caribbean.  There they will relax and enjoy themselves.    
Stress-level rating on a scale of 1-5: 1


Susan Scott said...

Lovely post thank you and amusing in its way! May the youngest have a blissful and stress free day and night and you as parents too!
I long for the day my sons get married - I dream about it. They're both fully adult ...

Garden of Eden Blog

Diane Weidenbenner said...

I really enjoyed reading several of your posts! Found you through the Blogging from A to Z Challenge. I really like the way you strike out what you really want to say, to highlight that you haven't said it (ha!). Keep up the good work!

MS said...

Thank you Susan and Diane stopping by. I appreciate the comments! Come back and visit sometime.

betty said...

How exciting with the upcoming wedding! I think weddings are wonderful occasions; loved mine and going to weddings of friends, but sometimes it seemed like so much time was spent on the wedding, planning it down to every single detail that couples (not talking about your kids) forget about what happens afterwards with the actual marriage.

Hubby used to play in bands (years ago) and I would go to some of the gigs with him; lots of wedding receptions. We used to make bets if the marriage would last long enough to pay off the wedding :)


MS said...

Betty - How fun to be able to sit in on the celebrations! It is sad though to see so many marriages quickly ending. Especially sad if they spent a boat load on the actual ceremony!