Sunday, April 12, 2009


We enter this world alone and we exit it alone.

I do not like being alone. Is that the fear I feel when I go somewhere? The fear of aloneness even within the midst of a crowd of people?

Maybe we are not alone. Maybe we always have God with us. Maybe as we enter the world God is with us—guiding us and protecting us. Maybe as we exit the world God is with us comforting us ready to welcome us home.

Did Dad have God with him when he left this life? Was he scared? Did he know there were loved ones –his brothers and his wife there? Did he think of his daughters at all in his last moments? His daughters who impotently sat 8000 miles away without the means to know what he was going through. Were his last breaths full of struggling thoughts, peaceful ones or devoid of thoughts at all.

Did Mom have God with her as she slipped out of this life? Were there any thoughts surrounding her as she lay in the coma? Did she know that she was going to die as she lay in the hospital bed unable to put her thoughts and words together?

Where are my parents now? Are they together? Are they singing with the angels along with the chorus filled with other loved ones? Or, ban the thought, are one or both gone for eternity.
These are the thoughts that rumble through my mind and dwell as I spend time alone.

1 comment:

Lori said...

Very dark, sister. Our parents were believers, but sadly, I don't believe that either had a relationship with God. Luckily our God is a forgiving God and Jesus died for believers' salvation.